i think the truth of the matter is that it’s getting tiring to be thinking about the minutia of how i consume food, and how to relay that out to people in a way that lyrically illustrates the transformation in how i’ve approached my diet since the past three weeks have unfolded.
i’ve never had a regular writing practice before, and part of this challenge was to push my limits. having to regularly reflect about a powerful experience in the same real-time that it’s being experienced is something that i never have experienced before. the practice of regular writing proved to be a noble companion to the mindfulness that can be practiced when performing the art of eating, with which i’ve been delightedly reinformed and re-habituated over these part weeks. the intention in each act, whether edible in mouth or mind, set the framework for a complete shift in how i approach my relationship to consumption.
and now it’s become so second nature that i’m having trouble finding the next story to write about. i shall now be the melissa who eats very simple foods based in whole-foods ingredients that are scratch made. beans, lentils, polenta. interspersed with dense leafy greens, root vegetables sometimes, brassicas. some steamed, some raw. home grown sprouts. still a lot of raw. just paying a lot more attention about planning ahead, and taking that time to really honor the food that i value so much.
more than anything, the 31.50 challenge brought me such clarity in my own habits, and what can be best for me. With all of the knowledge that I’ve absorbed over these years, i find said clarity in quantities and critical discernment in choice. for example, in how i integrate superfoods into my foodway (still regularly, but again with a really generative level of mindfulness about how i use them, and how i honor my abilities to have access). and from there, how truly whole-systems this lens of holistic consumption seems to be.
this realization is ultimately at the center of the much bigger teaching, which is the value with which i can realize my privilege, the lived experience that i’ve been afforded, and what i can do with the knowledge.
it’s incredibly hard to imagine what perpetual hunger would feel like. to even experience a small slice of that all-consuming thought process, where food is so not secure that it’s secured in your thoughts as the main focus.
truly, the short period of time that i was living in that way did a whole lot more than raise awareness around hunger. as i’ve mentioned, it completely shattered my perspective around how i feed myself and what’s really the most important thing.
that said, it’s also been incredibly hard (regardless of the ease of switching my diet) to reconcile where my thoughts are at this point around how i prioritize food and how i’ve always been very resolute around needing to allocate more of a budget toward it. mostly because i’m now allocating so much less and feeling ironically very much more free.
i never imagined feeling so absolutely resolute about something while also feeling so incredibly confused about how to move forward with this version of my voice.
i suppose that therein lies the rest of this story, as i move away from what was a short-term and well-defined challenge, and continue on a truly remarkable journey that has called forth my requirement to continue always and absolutely questioning everything about what i believe, who that makes me, and how that is shared with those around me. which is a challenge that i’m 100% up for.
― Anaïs Nin